Lesson No. 38: Do Not Fear The Darkness

Well, that’s one month of grad school in the bag! It went by in the blink of an eye!

It’s been overwhelming, to say the least. So much information to take in! New schedules, new settings, new people, new expectations, new everything. It’s almost been like I’ve been living someone else’s life—except I’m seriously out of the loop.

Since this was the start of a whole new program, we were all flooded with information that was to cover the next two to five years. And beyond.

That’s a lot to try and keep straight!

Trust me, I know because I tried. I tried to sift through all the schedules and requirements, and find a way to makes sense of all the things that weren’t even relevant yet. But I couldn’t do it.

I have no idea what I’ll be doing on March 7, 2018!

I can’t even picture that yet. I can barely picture what next weekend will look like, let alone my graduation day or my subsequent career. It’s all still too hazy and hypothetical at this point. I can’t yet see that light at the end of the proverbial tunnel that everyone’s always talking about.

But I was overreaching. Expecting too much too soon.

Because here’s the thing about that old light at the end of the tunnel: it doesn’t actually become visible until you’re almost there.

And until then you have to just move forward in the darkness, trusting that you’ll eventually find your way to the light. Which is why baby steps are so helpful—because you can’t see very far in the dark. So you’ll get lost if you try to look too far ahead.

If you keep your steps small you won’t stumble so much in the dark. Of course, you will stumble sometimes because it’s dark after all. But it’ll be more manageable.

And If you keep going that way, you’ll eventually see the light off in the distance. But you have to keep going—that’s the only secret. Some people are afraid of spending that much time in the dark. They can’t handle the ambiguity. So they quit early on. Or they stick it out a while until they assume that enough time has passed that they should be able to see the light by now. And since they still can’t, they prematurely come to the conclusion that they’ve failed—and then they give up.

Lesson No. 38: Do Not Fear The Darkness. If you ever want to make it to the other end of any of life’s tunnels, you’re going to have to spend a lot of time in the dark. The people who appear to be completely confident in what they’re doing, cannot actually see the light any better than you. They’ve just become comfortable with uncertainty.

You can do this too, darling. Patience, perseverance, and trust. And you’ll find the light at the end of your own tunnel before you know it!

with truth and elegance,
Vanessa

PS–To witness my journey on a daily basis (pictures included!), be sure to follow me on Instagram @Vanessa_Bork